Written on 11:50 PM by Tha Management
My blogs should be much shorter now that I don't have time to write them :)
I was on the train with some of my classmates when I spotted a very attractive man sitting in a seat off to the side of the train. Me and AM (attractive man) catch eyes a few times but I talk to my classmates instead. We were talking about shoes and well, shoe conversations trump men.
AM and I get off at the same stop but he runs down the escalator so I assume that he wasn't that interested. I end up standing next to him a few seconds later and we start up a brief conversation.
AM: *Sigh*
Me: You must be tired
AM: Yea, its been a long day, I worked 9 hours
Me: Yea
*notices, AM's voice is kinda high pitched*
AM: Are you coming from work?
Me: No, school
*notices AM's teeth are a lil jacked up*
AM: What school do you go to
Me: (Insert Law School Here)
*Notices, AM isn't really A ... umm, renames him MAM (Mildly Attractive Man)
MAM: Damn girl you must be smart
Me: Yea, heh heh
MAM: Yea ... I used to go to school, I'm in cooking school ... blah blah blah
Me: *in my head, IS HE WEARING F*CKING CROCS?@?@?@* Oh, that's nice
*starts planning escape route*
Me: Oh, well I am going to turn up this street now, ttyl
MAM: I wish I could call you sometime but I don't have my cell (DECODED: WARNING: Cell got turned off, bad credit, bad credit, bad credit)
Me: Oh, I'll take your number (quickly enters it into Blackberry) Ok, well talk to you later
MAM: (Keeps walking up the street) So yea, blah blah blah, i'm a bartender, blah blah blah,
Me: *should I run, I don't want him to see where I live ...*
MAM: I was going to talk to you on the train blah blah blah blah blah
Me: *Dammit, we are at my building, its ok the front door locks and he doesn't know what floor I live on* Well, it was nice meeting you
MAM: Call me when you get in the house
Me: *I'm at my house and you don't have a phone ...* Sure, bye
MAM: Bye
Now, how could this seemingly handsome man be soooo wrong??? I am mortified that he could do a 180 change so quickly. Moral of the story, never fret about the guy you could have talked to but didn't. He may turn out to be a lame.
- Tha Management
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Written on 9:48 PM by Tha Management
(I've had a request to write about what has been going on between me and PS and since I twitter about it all the time, I figure I can elaborate, despite some people not elaborating on one TLOML *side eyes Sugahoney*
"No matter how I think we grow you always seem to let me know, it ain't working.
And when I try to walk away, you'd hurt yourself to make me stay, this is crazy"
That was PS's ringtone for a long while (back when I had ringtones ... now my ringer is like a D-Day alarm or something, loud and ugly. People get mad at me when my phone rings ...) because it seemed like every time we'd break up or have a fight or anything, two minutes later, we were back in the thick of it.
I did say goodbye to him for good in May, but not because I was strong enough to cut ties, but because he manned up and told me that he didn't love me the right way.* In order for me to heal, I told him not to call, write, email, text or THINK about me ever again. I also told him that I thought he was a really good person and I hope he can find someone that made him happy ... and I meant it.
The Monday/Tuesday before my birthday (I'm 25 ya'll YAY) I received an email from PS simply titled "please read." My heart stopped. His email was not an attempt to make his way back into my life, it was simply an apology for not treating me the way he should have. He explained that he never fully let me into his life and that I deserved much better from anyone who was lucky enough to have me. This is basically the email every girl who has ever said "That Muthaf*cka gonna regret this" wishes she would get. Instead of being excited though, I cried.
The only real benefit of having a long distance relationship is that I never had to deal with anything when it came to our breakup. He basically stopped being a part of my life and all that meant was I got a few less phone calls and texts. I threw myself into everything else going on in my life and his email reminded me of how fragile I still was and how hurt I still felt.
I didn't know how to respond to him and I debated doing everything from nothing to calling him. I couldn't figure out if I wanted to curse him out or tell him that I still loved him. I asked a few friends for advice and I got many different responses although everyone told me to be careful.
I texted him the next morning. We talked by text all day and he called me that night. He called to wake me up the next morning. We texted all day. He apologized to me in words, he showed me he meant it by doing some of those little things he never did before. As I said to Narcist, "if he's for real about what he's saying and he does it, he's the man of my dreams."
I saw him in Miami on my bday vacation and it was very nice. Things weren't the same but I don't think they ever will be. He was amazed that we were talking let alone me giving him the time of day to spend time with him.
Super PS has subsided a little bit. I knew it would only be a matter of time before the calls got less frequent and the sweet sentiments would stop coming. He's doing a much better job of being there for me than he used to and I respect his efforts but I don't trust him with my heart. Since I refuse to ever have a long distance relationship again, nothing further will come of our friendship unless he bites the bullet and moves to DC (which we've discussed in passing). I don't really have time for a boyfriend and I actually would like to date guys who I haven't dated previously. Plus theres that whole law school thing.
All in all, I'm really glad things have turned out the way they have. I didn't like having all that anger built up inside of me and I was able to forgive him for hurting me pretty easily. I also missed him and I wouldn't let myself accept that. He hurt me profoundly, but spending 4 years of your life loving someone with your entire being ties you to them in a way that is hard to walk away from.
I'm not sure if PS is "the one" and I'm not sure whether or not I even want him to be. In all honesty, I'm not ready for "the one" anyway. I am glad that I am able to move on from that angry place because bitter wasn't a good look for me.
Now that I let that anger go, I'm free to be a romantic again.
- Tha Management (ThaMgmt on twitter. I'm private though, got tired of pornsites following me)
*I qualify this. His actual words were, "I don't love you as much as you love me"
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Written on 10:36 AM by Tha Management
My girl is having the most successful cut buddy relationship I have ever seen. I'm tempted to be jealous, lol. - Tha Management
I tweeted that this weekend and a few people asked me to explain. I have a friend who is in an exclusive cut buddy relationship.
Cut Buddy - someone who you have sex with. You do not have to be friends (no friends with benefits), you do not hang out, and your sole purpose for dealing with each other is for the sex.
Some background.
On one of my girls birthday's, we went to Ibiza. My friends can at times be foolish and (as you can tell from my last post) when I am at the club amongst the foolishness, I drink so I can have a good time. This is the course of action that I took that night as well. During the night, I danced a lot. As the night drew to a close, a man decided to pick me up while we were dancing (he was standing in front of me). After screaming for him to put me down, we exchanged numbers and I continued in my tipsy haze about the dance floor.
That night and on into the next day, he called me a million times. (This happens to me a lot. I will meet a guy and we "click" and he just assumes he is my pseudo man and has the right to call me a million times within 30 seconds of meeting me, maybe one day I'll tell you about Black Bike Week 07 ... prolly not). Over the course of the million and one plus phone conversations, he informs me that he lives in NJ and that he was going home that weekend and wanted to meet up.
I agree to meet him at the mall and he tells me that he is with his friend. I don't plan on going to the mall to meet a guy with his friends alone so I call up my girl and have her come with me. We meet them up and his friend is digging my friend, although I am beginning to hate the guy that I'm meeting up with.
I meet up with him again later that evening and reconfirm my suspicions, dude and all his friends are losers. Not only that, he may be clinically insane *side note: he was good on paper (good job, advanced degree from an ivy league, super muscular, alright face) but insane. No matter how many positive credentials you have, Crazy trumps them all* I also find out that his friend was seriously feeling my girl so I made the effort to hook them up since he had a nice body and she was experiencing a penis drought.
Soon after, she realized she wasn't feeling him. He never followed through on them going out, he only texted her (no telephone conversations) and he faked a lot. But he had a nice body. After all of us hanging out one more time (crazy was back in NJ thank GOD) they hooked up and she liked it, a lot.
And so their relationship progressed. (I interviewed her about the relationship for the blog so that I had concrete facts to present to you) He will come and pick her up. He owns a house so she spends the night if she's too tired. They watch tv, do the do and then she goes home. They do not like each other on a romantic level. If either of them was to start dating someone else, neither's feelings would be hurt. They couldn't even define what they had as a friendship because they aren't friends. They just do the do ... both of them enjoy it, and that's all they need.
This has been going on for 2 months. I think that it now qualifies as a successful cut buddy relationship. I think she owes me some gratitude for taking her with me to the mall that day, but whatever.
-Tha Management
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Written on 3:06 PM by Tha Management
Ahh, Blogger, how I’ve missed you. I know I’m dead wrong for even putting this little message up but I’ve been sooooo busy. I wish I had a better explanation but I just don’t. I really don’t even have the time to write this blog, but I think I will anyway. Why not? My whole life can’t just be school and work, I’ll go crazy. I’m going to try and get a few blogs out this weekend in between studying and have them post through out the week. Here’s how my last Friday night went. (Don’t Judge Me)
I am a light weight. A pathetic light weight. One of those people that gets tipsy off their first hen and coke (the only drink I drink at the club). My friend invited me to go to the club with him on Friday and since I knew that my freedom was almost gone, I agreed. He came over and waited as I finished getting dressed, we called a cab, and went to the club.
My friend’s friends were extremely hood. I mean real hood. I have some hood in me too, so this doesn’t usually faze me, but they were extremely drunk and so it was off the chain. I can’t be in a club upset and not get a drink. So I got a drink, and I drank it, fast.
My friend and I kept getting separated, so I ended up getting a second drink just to have something to do. The first one was really strong and the second one stronger. Sometimes alcohol gives me heartburn and usually, if this happens, I have to sit the heartburn off. Its also an indication that I’m drunk and that I shouldn’t drink anymore. I listened to the heartburn, drank some water and sat down and realized, I should stop drinking. But I didn’t listen to myself. After drink 3, well, I was no longer cute in the club. Then drink 4 happened … This is what I can piece together of the nights events.
1. I made my friend go away so I could book this really cute guy who was giving me the eye. I never got his name so it didn’t matter.
2. I gave my number to a guy named Olu. He called me the next day and I couldn’t remember anything about him besides the fact that his name was Olu. I never called him back.
3. Someone slapped the shit outta my ass. I mean HARD … and I didn’t get into a fight. I was too drunk to even let it faze me.
4. I got the cab driver lost while sexually harassing my friend. I was too drunk to remember where I was or to even have a clue. I have no idea why they were listening to my drunk ass anyway. I don’t know ish about DC and clearly I don’t know how to get back to my apartment.
5. My friend and I had an “uh-oh”. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but its been 7 months and well, the liquor was my courage. Here’s the thing that sucks. I woke up with a broken bed and no solid recollection of the relations. That sucks! Its been 7 months and I finally get some and I can’t even remember it! No fair, I want a redo! And … I may have even gotten one if it wasn’t for the fact that I cursed my friend out afterwards for sleeping with me although he had a girlfriend … which I found out when I called to ask him 1. Was I dreaming or did we have sex … 2. How the hell did my bed break … 3. Why are you mad at me right now …
So with that, I say goodbye to the following my social life … I have 36 pages of Civ Pro, 10 pages in Contracts and 12 pages in Con Law to get to. Class hasn’t even started yet. Who has time for drunken nights when you work, work out (I started running in the mornings again and I bought a hula hoop!) and have law school. I don’t.
Well, I hope I can get you something else to read soon.
- Tha Management
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Written on 5:42 AM by Tha Management
I'm now one of those people.
As my twitter posts have indicated, I'm now the proud owner of a blackberry. The best phone ever. I've never had a phone that has made it so that I can get so much done. All my other phones pale in comparison. And so does yours. Let me explain.
There are two types of phone users. Lets call the first (vastly superior group) The Blackberrys. We'll call the second group the iPhones.
People who are blackberrys like to get stuff done. Their phones have the capabilities to multitask and to get real work accomplished. You can email, set up a conference call, check your facebook, post a twitter, copy the information you posted on twitter to a text message with your best friend then send them a calendar appointment for that mani ped you two plan on having tomorrow.
The iPhones use their phone as a toy. Oh, look at me, look at all the neat (and useless) apps my phone does. I can shake it and get a recipe(c)Rina, or look, I can make it look like I have a fishtank(c)ThaBoss(aka Mom). iPhones can do somethings, but mainly, they are a toy and people play with them.
Everyone who doesn't have one or the other, has a phone that falls into one or the other catergories. Stop faking and upgrade your life.
So in short, my phone is better than yours. Do your existence a favor and get a blackberry.
- Tha Management
Since Blackberry isn't paying me to rep their phone, know that I do this from a place of love. Also, know that I am not completely satisfied, it takes 3 minutes to boot the phone ... yes BOOT, like a computer. I never turn it off cause it pisses me off so bad.
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Written on 3:25 AM by Tha Management
Once upon a time, a fair maiden worked for an evil slave master*. After working tirelessly for months, she decided to reward her faithful service by purchasing a new car. Imagine her delight when she was able to buy the car of her dreams. She named him Monty.
The fair maiden took good care of Monty, washing him regularly. She made sure she always fed him the finest of gas (read: Premium) and had his oil changed regularly**.
The Maiden regularly parked Monty on the street in front of her home since her Evil Stepfather*** wouldn't allow her or her brother to park their vehicles in the driveway of their home. She complained loud and hard at the conditions but was hushed. Soon after her complaints died down, the Maiden's drivers side mirror was side swiped. She took Monty to get repaired and he was like new.
No damage was done to Monty for months and the Maiden believed that all was good. She went to sleep night after night with no worries. Then, while in the depth of her beauty sleep her brother woke her up with news.
"Maiden, our cars were hit"
The story in pictures: (click pictures to enlarge)
The story in words:
Came outside in my house robe and curlers to find my car sandwiched between an alias car with no one in it and my brother's white acura. I was so taken aback by the site of Monty, I clutched my air pearls, gasped and got weak in the knees. A few minutes later, an alias white child ran down the street asking about the accident ... I'm too tired to write complete sentences so here are some brief points.
- Neighbors saw three children running from black car, one child returns to the scene at first saying it was his friends car and then claiming to be the driver. After a near face bashing by my brother, young white child runs to get his friend who owned the vehicle.
- My brothers follow white child to friends while I take pictures of the damage. Police show up and ask me where the driver of the vehicle was. I explain the situation and say that no one was in the car when we saw the accident. Police speed off to find perpatrators.
- Police officer returns to scene of the crime with white child in handcuffs. Explains white child called him a "fucking bitch". Parents are called, child is age 15. Actual owners of the vehicle show up. I feel like killing children. Parents are as stupid as children. Boy taken to Juvenile detention for stealing a car, none of the children claim that they were in the car or knew boy was taking it. When I ask for insurance information, children claim that its not their fault since the boy took car without permission, mother backs idiot children up. Refuse to give insurance information. Management starts to shake fists trying to diffuse the tension building to beat people's faces in. All information regarding the accident (including insurance information) is on the police report so The Management isn't taken to jail for killing white people while enraged.
- After a brief review of the structural damage to the vehicle, Evil Step Father who is an autobroker determines that Monty will likely be totaled. If he isn't totaled, than they are going to have to replace the entire back of the car. Tha Management starts to cry because she worked so hard, and did so many things for that car. It was her best posession and besides her education, the thing she was proudest of ... who wants a replacement when she had the best car ever???
- The kicker ... since children claim that the car is stolen, their insurance company may not be liable for damages to Tha Management or her brother's vehicles. We will find out soon.
The End. Literally. I loved Monty like fat kids love cake(c)Wack Ass 50 Cent.
- Tha Management
*Evil Slave Master was fired.
** No one told me synthetic oil chages cost $100.00.
*** Evil step father is a good nickname but he's actually a good guy 70% of the time
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Written on 12:48 PM by Tha Management
I guess I'm lucky that I never have to interact with my ex because I'm pretty sure if I saw him in the street I'd fight him ... I know you should never lay hands on another person, but I'm pretty sure rage> good sense and I'd be wrecking with him. I have been boiling mad all day because of this entire ticket situation, just like I was pissed off angry waiting for him to reimburse me for my plane ticket to fly out and see him. He was not a man. Yes, I'm stripping him of his manhood.
No man will take money from his girl repeatedly and never pay it back, never mention paying it back, never think about paying it back ...
No man will let his girl pay for everything they do, from movies to dinner, and never even blink and eye about it ...
No man will stay in a relationship with someone who bends over backwards loving them, just to duck out the minute they actually have to commit to them ...
Have some f*cking dignity.
I'm pissy pissed so I'm sure I'll regret airing my emotions over the blogosphere in such a way, but no one deserves to get treated so poorly ESPECIALLY not me. I am so much better than his BS and today is the LAST day I'll let his ignorance get to me!
*drops the mic*
Please read below for information about ticket sales.
I bought PS a ticket to see Rock The Bells with me this year because he loves Nas. In between buying the ticket and the concert, we broke up. I now am in posession of one ticket that is on sale.
Here is Rock the Bells official website:
As you can see its going to be great.
I went last year and blogged about it
here
We don't like sitting on lawns so we bought a ticket for the middle of the covered portion of venue. The ticket is $80. I'm willing to discuss price if you are for real interested.
My email address is: blaquedawl@hotmail.com, email me if you are interested.
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Written on 11:04 AM by Tha Management
Sorry I've been slacking on posting but I've had a crazy busy couple of weeks and last week was ... well, full of tragedy.
First, Tuesday ... My heart broke when the Metro trains crashed. 9 people died, including a husband and wife. I've been saying for years Metro needs to get their lives together but that just crushed me. You are on your way home or to work and you never come home again. Life is so fragile.
My Grandfather died on Wednesday. I don't know my grandparents that well. I can vividely remember 2 times that I met my grandfather he made no real impact on me besides to make me dislike him ... My mom wanted to divorce my father when they first got married and he started to hit her ... her parents wouldn't let her come back to Nigeria and told her to stay and work on her marriage. I don't think I can ever get that bad taste out of my mouth. I can still see my mom's pain in her eyes from those years ... so my heart hurt for her, but I had no emotion for him. I hope that's not too cold.
Then we all know Thursday, someone who had a vivid impact on my life passed. Michael Jackson. I know a lot of people have jumped on the bandwagon about mourning him although he was the butt of many jokes and ridicule over some of his personal issues ... but I never really judged Michael. I was young when I heard about the accounts of the molestation and the only way I know anything about his family was from "An American Dream" ... even so, what I remember was that no matter what was going on, a Michael song could make me dance. He was also so creative and almost magical. My brothers imitated his dance moves, my cousins were scared of the Thriller video, and I learned the choreography to Beat It and can do it now ... like right now. When reading more about the molestation charges and knowing what I know about the law he probably never did anything sexually inappropriate with a child ... if he hadn't settled with that first family out of court, no one would have ever thought anything of it ... Anyway, I say all that to point out that regardless of what your opinion is, Michael Jackson deserves to be mourned because his legacy is amazing and he touched so many peoples lives.
Life is fragile. Remember that. Tell someone you love them today.
- Tha Management
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Written on 11:49 AM by Tha Management
Since Too Through I have been really changing my perspectives and relationships to embrace my new found introversion. I've never been the person that likes to be alone when I do things I enjoy because I like having fun with people. Watching my friends and family enjoy something makes me happier than if I were to enjoy it by myself. With that in mind, I do a lot of things in groups ... this includes movies, going out to the club or concerts, hell, even getting my nails done. I tend to stick with the Trinity (Rina and Narcist) and use things we experience as discussion fodder.
Now, I am MUCH better than I was before. I actually think I used to have a fear of doing things alone. I wouldn't even eat lunch at the dining hall in undergrad if someone wouldn't go with me. I am much better and definitely need and enjoy being alone at home but I still haven't mastered doing fun things outside of my home on my own.
A constant suggestion people make to women lately has been that they go out to clubs, bars, what have you, alone. I don't even see this as an option. Beyond the fact that going out without a friend at night can be dangerous, what about the fact that you'll be bored. What is there to do at a bar or club if your girls aren't with you?*
So I'm trying to experiment with going out on solo missions. This Saturday, I'm going to go to a movie ... next week, I may try attending an evening event alone and I'm going to start looking for some concerts and plays that I can attend alone.
I'm going to have to learn to entertain myself since my bests won't be as accessible to me once I move into the city and I want to feel comfortable that if I was to move to another city, I'd be able to do so and not feel lonely.
Any advice for me?
- Tha Management
*This suggestion came from people who say that this is a good way to meet men. I don't want to meet a man since I'm still being quite introverted, but I would like to see how it feels to fly solo. Maybe I'll do this a couple times and blog my experiences. This will be like a mini experiment. The hardest thing will be going to the club alone. I just don't see how this is a good idea but I'll try it out. I like to dance, but going in the middle of a dance floor and dancing solo would probably depress me ... but its for science right?
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Written on 4:21 PM by Tha Management
Since I've been single, I've been on high alert. It seems like I overanalyze everything when it comes to an interaction with the opposite sex.
I've been contemplating the following ... a lot:
1. Socioeconomic differences and how that will affect dating options (can a lawyer date a janitor?)
2. Where black men are.
3. How many friends is too many to go to the club with?
4. Do I smile when I walk around so I am more approachable?
5. Am I too bougie? Too hood? What does my outward appearance suggest to a possible suitor?
6. Interracial dating and its ramifications in black culture.
7. Do educated black women (and therefore myself) take themselves too seriously, measure black men against realistic standards, and therefore get in their own way in the name of their own "happiness"
I'm sure all of you have read AT LEAST 3 blogs dedicated to each of these questions (there aren't 3 specific blogs per se but we do discuss one in detail in the comments section). In the past week, I've been inundated with so much discussion of black woman and relationships that I have a perpetual headache. So I'm making a declaration ...
IT'S ENOUGH DAMMIT. I don't care anymore and I have very good reasons not to!
1. I don't even WANT a man right now. Yes, that's right! I'm 24 starting law school in 2 months and trying to live it up for as long as I can. Now this doesn't mean I don't have any lonely nights. Please believe I would love some GDnC (good d*ck and conversation) but I have even declined entertaining that due to the HIV epidemic in DC and the fact that sleeping with a new guy right now is outside my comfort zone. I may have been a little freer with it during my young and dumb days but as a grown woman, I guard the kitty and no one gets access without a long courting period, STI tests, and a firm committment to the cause.
2. I'm not LOOKING for a man-- because the type of man I want, would find me. I believe that I am pretty enough, outgoing enough, and happy enough that if a guy was truly serious about wanting to get to know me, he would do so without fear of rejection. I don't look scary and even when I have my angry face on, its only cause I have to. I'm so nice, that I always speak when someone introduces themself to me even when I'm not interested. So if a man's issue is that I'm intimidating or whatever BS he conjures, than he ain't the one.
3. I'm tired. This whole discussion is giving me a headache. What am I fighting for right now anyway? I'm 25 and even though I have a list of suggested deadlines in my head (like to be married by 30, kids before 35, etc) I'm not letting that foolishness run my life. I can be just as happy single as I am in a relationship and I plan on exercising that option for a long time.
So yea. I quit. For however more time I am single, I'll be all about Tha Management. Bettering me, focusing on me, and loving me. I may notice the cute boy in the corner, but I won't give a damn if he smiles my way or not.
- Tha Management
p.s. I quit all relationship blogs that analyze black woman. I don't give a damn anymore. I won't allow myself to be typified in the name of furthing a discussion that fodders contempt and anger and offers no real solution. If I want to get angry about something that will give me the same outcome, I'll just start a discussion on the education system and funding for urban schools.
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